Big Ugly Head Ball

Overview

Two giant boots kick a sickly green head around a neon pitch while seven hundred turnip-shaped spectators watch from the stands. First to five goals wins a two-minute match. Tie at full time and it goes to golden goal. Just a keyboard and two minutes.

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Highlights

• A head that acts alive. It blinks, glares at whoever is closest, and grimaces every time you boot it.
• No art or audio files. Every mesh, texture and material is generated in code, down to the pitch and the crowd. Every sound effect is synthesized live.
• A crowd that follows the match. Murmur, chatter and roar layers track the run of play, with swells of anticipation, clap-by-clap applause and the odd whistle.
• The full broadcast treatment. Air horn, organ “charge!” stab, net swish, grunts from the head, a whoosh that tracks ball speed, and a golden-goal heartbeat.
• An original soundtrack. “The Grimpit Sessions,” with title, match and stinger cues mixed through the same bus as the effects so music and SFX never fight.
• Broadcast polish. Bloom, vignette, a warm grade, hit-stop, screen shake, slow-mo goal celebrations and an FOV punch on every kick.

How It’s Built

three.js is the only runtime dependency, and nothing loads from disk except the soundtrack. A custom 2.5D physics layer runs at a fixed 120Hz substep for ball bounce, crossbar hits, kick impulses and boot-on-boot shoving. Audio is a bussed Web Audio mixer with a mastering compressor and a procedural stadium reverb. A fixed-step state machine drives the match rules and the camera.

Process

Built solo, start to finish: the head and arena, the physics and AI opponent, the whole synthesis and mixing layer, the soundtrack, and the launch artwork.